My Own Private Guantanamo

Pranks, Power and Pop Culture


Man Bites Dog- Two Takes
On A Funny Rape Story

April 15, 2012


German woman flees partner who demanded way too much sex

BERLIN — A desperate woman in Munich fled onto a balcony and called police for protection after her insatiable companion for a one-night stand refused to let her leave his flat, police said Thursday.

The 43-year-old woman had met a man four years her senior in a bar in the southern German city on Monday and he took her back to his apartment for sex, a police spokesman said in a statement.

“There they had sexual intercourse several times,” the spokesman said.

“When the 47-year-old wanted even more, his partner said no.”

The woman then attempted to leave the apartment but the man prevented her from escaping and demanded she sleep with him again.

“Because the 43-year-old saw no other alternative, she complied with the man’s wishes another few times so she could finally leave the apartment,” the spokesman said.

“But when he continued to refuse and demanded even more sex from her, she fled to the balcony and alerted the police.”

The man “then tried to talk the dispatched officers into similar activity but was unsuccessful.”

He is now facing possible charges of sexual assault and illegal restraint.

(Original here.)


Woman Flees Man After Too Much Sex

We’ve all been there.

Agence France-Presse reports that a German woman in Munich allegedly had to flee to the police after a man demanded too much sex.

After several amicably agreed upon rolls in the hay, the woman reportedly tried to leave the man’s apartment. But he wouldn’t let her exit and instead allegedly insisted on more sex. That’s when the woman ran to the cops for help, according to authorities.

Perhaps the man in question was unaware of a study reported on by Forbes that found that, while men can, for the most part, never have too much sex, women can.

From Forbes:

“Vaginal tissues, if given too roistering or prolonged a pummeling, can sustain damage. In cases you’d just as soon not hear about, permanent damage.”

And the German woman might not be alone in her desire for a bit less sex.

Reuters reported on a study that found 12 percent of women aged 16-24 wanted sex less often. It’s not a perfect comparison though, since the German woman was 43.

(Original here.)

*It’s worth noting that the creepy stock photos accompanying these stories work better with my genderswapped narratives than they do in the original versions.



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